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Do You Have a People Pleaser Personality

“Do You Have a People Pleaser Personality” written by Bren Koger.

“If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and, therefore, your excellence.” ~Unknown

People Pleaser Personality

I’m a typical middle child in that I like to make peace and I’m somewhat of a people pleaser.

I can’t help it, I like everyone to be happy and getting along.

prolonged conflict makes me uncomfortable and I will do whatever I need to do to make sure there is harmony.

It can become a balancing act to be loving and supportive while at the same time honoring your own time and values.

I really don’t like to be the source of irritation, disappointment so I’ve been willing go to great measures to please.

If this sounds like you then you could be a people pleaser too.

Let’s See If You Have The People Pleaser Personality

Take a look at the following questions…

  • Do you find yourself going along with things others want to do?  Or agree with something that does not sit right with you?
  • Do you want everyone to like you?
  • Do you worry about how people will react if you say no to them?
  • Do people always come to you for favors or advice when they need you, but are not as apt to contact you when things are going well for them?
  • Do you think you might not have any friends if you say no?
  • Do you often hurt by others treatment but keep silent?
  • Do you wonder if others are taking advantage of you –
  • Do you avoid conflict with others and feel its a bad thing?
  • Do you have a hard time recognizing the difference between being needed and being loved?
  • Would you rather be dishonest than be the source of disapproval?
  • Do you wonder why everyone treats you like shit when you’re so nice?

If you answered yes to more than three of these questions then you could be a people pleaser.

Being Assertive

The goal is to be assertive and nice. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.

You can say no.

If this sounds like something more than you can manage here are a few tips on how to say no from a recovering people pleaser.

Ask for details before you commit. It’s ok to get as much information as possible before you say “yes.”

I can remember so many times automatically saying “yes” when someone asks for a favor and then asking for details after. Then I would try to work it into my schedule. Ask for details first.

And then take some time to consider your own needs. Really think about if this something that works for you. It’s OK to take the time you need. Let them know you need some time to think about it and will get back to them. Then consider if it is something that you will be comfortable with and enjoy. That buffer of time is important and if someone insists on an answer immediately then just refuse.

Don’t Make Excuses

Don’t make excuses or lie about why you can’t do something. A simple “No” or I have plans is enough.

Or maybe you can tweak a request to make it—or part of it—manageable

You can suggest someone else, or offer an alternative solution

And if you change your mind after you say “No” then you have a right to let that person know you’ve changed your mind.

While it’s not good to be a pushover, it’s no better to be a bully

But Don’t Go Too Far

Don’t go too far the other way and become totally selfish just to prove a point.

We’re talking just good self-care skills which include healthy assertiveness skills.

Here is an exercise to help you along the road to a recovering people pleaser

The next time a group of people trying to decide on a movie or dinner think about what YOU want and voice an opinion. It may seem uncomfortable but it will be good practice. Really think about what you want and let people know. It may mean that the group decides on something you don’t want to do and you go along. That’s ok it’s the process of self-care and healthy assertiveness that is important.

You can listen to others, but ultimately, what you do is your choice. Keep a balance!

Sometimes the needs of other people should come first. Whenever there’s a conflict of desires, try to come up with a solution that will meet both desires halfway, or better yet, a “win-win” situation where both sides get even more than they bargained for.

If this was helpful please leave a comment below.

Love and Light,
Bren

 

P.S. – If you like this post, feel free comment down below and/or share on Facebook.

Free Bootcamp Training Mini-Course

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Do You Have a People Pleaser Personality - Bren Koger

Bren Koger

Click here to contact Bren

If you are interested in learning how to make money online, click the following links to learn more about the TotalShortcut.com system, YouFirstMillionOnline system, and get the information to form your own opinion from this Empower Network, and Jeunesse review.

If you want a system to help you rank in Google just like Bren and I do, then check out Influx Entrepreneur.  If you want total transformation, you need to check out Subconscious Mind Tapping.

Article: Do You Have a People Pleaser Personality

Everyday Is Wisdom with guest Michael Davis

“Everyday Is Wisdom with guest Michael Davis” written and video by Bren Koger.

Do you ever feel like it’s impossible to stand out from the crowd to sell your product or service?

How would you like to be better at selling?

Even if you don’t consider yourself a sales type person, you too can that leave a lasting impact on others and compel them to connect with you.

Interview with Michael Davis

In this interview with Author of The Book On Story Telling and world class speaking coach Michael Davis

[jwplayer player=”1″ mediaid=”20852″]

He shares information on what he calls his ‘secret ingredients’ to building an instant rapport with your prospective buyers.

*Hint* it’s not a better PowerPoint presentation 🙂

It’s what the best salespeople, speakers and leaders know.

The Power of Storytelling

And it’s something Everyone can easily learn.

In this interview, Michael talks about why stories help us to connect with others.

How stories build trust and leads to an increase in sales.

He tells us why we are wired to be drawn to stories.

He gives examples of some of the most effective storytellers.

Stay through until the end where he gives a couple of his tips on the mechanics of good storytelling.

If you would like to connect with Michael or order his book you can go to his website. http://speakingcpr.com

Love and Light,
Bren

P.S. – If you like this post, feel free comment down below and/or share on Facebook.

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Everyday Is Wisdom with guest Michael Davis - Bren Koger

Bren Koger

Click here to contact Bren

If you are interested in learning how to make money online, click the following links to learn more about the TotalShortcut.com system, YouFirstMillionOnline system, and get the information to form your own opinion from this Empower Network, and Jeunesse review.

If you want a system to help you rank in Google just like Bren and I do, then check out Influx Entrepreneur.  If you want total transformation, you need to check out Subconscious Mind Tapping.

Article: Everyday Is Wisdom with guest Michael Davis

The Secret to How to Overcome Rejection

“The Secret to How to Overcome Rejection” written by Bren Koger.

Are you struggling with rejection?

If you’ve lived long enough you’ve probably felt the sting of rejection in one way or another.

Rejection is a part of life.

  • It could be the loss of a job.
  • Or getting turned down for a date.
  • Or someone saying no to a business proposal.

And If you’re in sales of any kind its just part of the job. It’s how you handle the “No’s” that will eventually lead to your success.

That’s why today I would like to talk about how to overcome rejection.

How to Overcome Rejection

I have a favorite story about triumph over rejection…

The Sylvester Stallone Story by Tony Robbins

In this video Tony Robbins talks about Sylvester Stallone triumphed over rejection after rejection to become the success he is today.

[jwplayer player=”1″ mediaid=”20768″]

 

Trying to Become Resilient

If it’s your book being rejected for the tenth time or fired from a job, becoming resilient to rejection and using it as incentive to try harder is something that many famous people have done to accomplish their dreams.

Famous editor of Vogue Anna Wintour was fired from Harpers Bazaar magazine and says it was a great learning experience that led to her ultimate success.

Author J.K. Rowling was fired as a secretary for daydreaming and went on to write the Happy Potter stories. She was then rejected by 12 publishers before she was able to publish her books.

The rock band U2 was turned down by RSO records in 1979 because they “weren’t suitable for them at the present.” Can you imagine if the members of the band used this as an excuse to give up?

They would have robbed the world of their amazing talent.

The Secret to How to Overcome Rejection

The Common Thread

What all of these people share in common is that they went after their dream.

They put themselves out there and took a chance.

They risked rejection because their dream was THAT big.

If you’ve been rejected it means you are living your life to the fullest.

You are putting yourself out there to accomplish big things.

If you are in the midst of a rejection right now it can be a painful experience.

How to Overcome Rejection

Here are a few things you can do to keep on going.

  1. Use it as an incentive to prove people wrong. Believe in your dream and don’t let anyone get in your way. You will have nay-sayers and people who don’t understand what you’re doing. Move on and say “Next?”
  2. Remind yourself of all the things you have to be thankful for. Gratitude and appreciation are very powerful tools. Make a list every day. You have your family and friends you have your health. The list could go on and on.
  3. Make another list of all of your accomplishments. Call it your success list. Rejection can take a hit to your self-esteem so..Deliberately remember all of the good that you’ve done in your life. It could be academic accomplishments, kindness to a stranger, being a good friend. Again the list could go on and on This will help eliminate any residual negative feelings.
  4. Do some internal work and see if there is something that needs to change. If you are turned down for a job over and over again it might be some small tweak in the interview process. If you are continually turned down for sales maybe you are not as confident in your approach. Humble yourself and Take some time to get some extra training or help from an expert.

Final Thoughts on How to Overcome Rejection

Remember that you are developing some necessary thick skin to take your life to the next level. Without this extra skin, you might not be able to handle life at the level your biggest dreams.

The bigger the dream the bigger the need to handle criticism and rejection.

Remember “no” is getting you closer to your “yes” If Anna Wintour or J.K. Rowling hadn’t experienced the sting of rejection they would not be where they are today.

The door needed to close on one area of their life to take them to the next level.

Trust that whatever you are going through this is part of a bigger plan for your life. You may not see where all the pieces are falling into place just yet.

But you will.

Get comfortable with rejection. Invite rejection. Get excited about rejection It means you are living life to the fullest and have a huge opportunity for growth.

Love and Light,
Bren

 

P.S. – If you like this post, feel free comment down below and/or share on Facebook.

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The Secret to How to Overcome Rejection - Bren Koger

Bren Koger

Click here to contact Bren

If you are interested in learning how to make money online, click the following links to learn more about the TotalShortcut.com system, YouFirstMillionOnline system, and get the information to form your own opinion from this Empower Network, and Jeunesse review.

If you want a system to help you rank in Google just like Bren and I do, then check out Influx Entrepreneur.  If you want total transformation, you need to check out Subconscious Mind Tapping.

Article: The Secret to How to Overcome Rejection

The Importance of Perseverance in Pursuing Your Goals

“The Importance of Perseverance in Pursuing Your Goals” written by Bren Koger.

Are you struggling to achieve your goals?

The key is perseverance.

You never fail until you give up.

Nothing is more important in achieving your goals than perseverance; not talent, intelligence or resources.

And that’s the topic of today’s blog post.

The Importance of Perseverance

It’s easy to think that anyone who has achieved a degree of success in life has some kind of natural ability, but in reality to be successful you have to persevere through daunting obstacles. You have to consistently work harder than they thought possible with no guarantee of success. No degree of talent can give you this ability.

Have you ever wanted to quit at something?

What kept you going?

Whether you were motivated by a strong vision or someone you love, it comes down to making a decision, everyday making a decision not to give up.

In anything worth achieving there will be setbacks and frustrations.

Here are three my reasons to keep going:

1) You Could Be Three Feet From Gold

You never know when your biggest breakthrough is right around the corner and It’s usually darkest before the dawn. You don’t want to give up on an opportunity for your biggest growth just because it’s uncomfortable.

2) In Order to Succeed You Will Need to Change

You will need to be willing to go through the process of being formed into someone who is able to handle that degree of success. You will be pressed and formed into another person and that can be uncomfortable. But if you are willing to go through the rough spots you will move into your best life.

3) You Will Learn Skills

You will learn skills that you can use in any area of your life

You will be forced to overcome crippling self-doubt and frustration. These are tools have in your back pocket for use in any situation.

4) You Will Learn Patience

If you work long enough you will see results.

Persistence doesn’t mean that you can never change course in life, however, so If after doing some soul searching you realize it’s better to shift gears this doesn’t make you a failure or a quitter.

Final Thoughts On The Importance of Perseverance

No matter what happens in life, learn from every experience to become a stronger and wiser person.

Reach out for help and support when you need it.

Stay in gratitude and appreciation for everything.

Decide to hold your vision and take daily action steps.

Look for alternative approaches if need be and just keep going.

Here’s to your success!

Love and Light,
Bren

P.S. – If you like this post, feel free comment down below and/or share on Facebook.

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The Importance of Perseverance in Pursuing Your Goals - Bren Koger

Bren Koger

Click here to contact Bren

If you are interested in learning how to make money online, click the following links to learn more about the TotalShortcut.com system, YouFirstMillionOnline system, and get the information to form your own opinion from this Empower Network, and Jeunesse review.

If you want a system to help you rank in Google just like Bren and I do, then check out Influx Entrepreneur.  If you want total transformation, you need to check out Subconscious Mind Tapping.

Article: 7 Ways to be More Happy

How to Have Fun In Life No Matter Your Age

“How to Have Fun In Life No Matter Your Age” with Bren Koger.

Are you envious of others having fun?

Maybe you think you are not allowed to have fun because you are no longer a kid?  Well if this is the case I have something I want to tell you…

You don’t stop having fun because you get old, you get old because you stop having fun.

How to Have Fun In Life

I think we’re all born with the ability to be silly and have fun,
but as we age we slow down and we become preoccupied with our thoughts.

Have Fun In Life Like Little Girls…

This was really apparent to me last week at my nail salon. I was there for a manicure and I couldn’t help but start watching this group of five little girls getting their nails done for a birthday party one of the girls was hosting.

I knew that because they were excitedly talking about their day and sharing with everyone things about their life i.e. “My grandma has seven grandchildren and I’m the oldest. I’m eight and then the next one is seven then six…”

How to Have Fun In Life No Matter Your Age

The contrast between how these little girls sat, moved and carried themselves and the rest of the adult clientele was so remarkable that I couldn’t help but notice.

Their movements were quick and they sat very close to each other. At one point two to a chair.

When did we lose the ability to be so comfortable with close body space?

They would jump up and do a little dance or move their entire bodies so easily and effortlessly at one point one of them knocked a glass vase off the windowsill while she was moving around.

They had full range of motion with their neck. They were looking all around the room from floor to ceiling, taking it all in.

The adults in the room, by contrast, were sitting there hardly moving and maybe occasionally looking at their phone or at other people. They spoke in low, soft tones.

Such a contrast in life-force.

Why Does This Happen?

When do we start to change and get self-conscious about our behavior?

When do we lose our ability to move freely or just be silly ?

By two years old we start to become self-conscious enough to be embarrassed.

That’s when we start to see ourselves through the eyes of others. By 2–3 years old children start to have others in mind when they behave. And it progresses from there to the day-to-day, working, tax paying, appointment scheduling, meal cooking, early rising, always cleaning up monotony of being an adult.

But we don’t have to change so drastically as we age. We can still have times where we act silly and child-like. Here are a few ways to be silly and child-like again.

How to Have Fun In Life Today

  • Joke around. Harmless pranks can be fun.  April Fool’s Day is coming up and I remember when I was growing up my dad and grandma always pranked each other on that day. Each one would try to outdo the prank from the year before. My sister was born on April 7th and one year my dad told my grandma that they were headed to the hospital. My grandma drove part way there before she realized it was a prank.
  • Sing karaoke in the car. Mike and I do this on long car trips to stay awake. There are YouTube videos that are fun and easy to sing along to. Here we are doing the one to “Baby’s Its Cold Outside
  • Try Skipping- It’s fun and makes you feel happy. It might take some practice if you haven’t skipped for  a while. 🙂

skipping_3814

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How to Have Fun In Life No Matter Your Age

How to Have Fun In Life No Matter Your Age

 

How to Have Fun In Life No Matter Your Age

Final Words on How to Have Fun in Life

Take the time act silly and have fun in life.  Using the ideas I listed on how to have fun in life or create your own list

Comment below on how you like to act silly.  I would love to hear.

Love and Light,
Bren

P.S. – If you like this post, feel free comment down below and/or share on Facebook.

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How to Have Fun In Life No Matter Your Age - Bren Koger

Bren Koger

Click here to contact Bren

If you are interested in learning how to make money online, click the following links to learn more about the TotalShortcut.com system, YouFirstMillionOnline system, and get the information to form your own opinion from this Empower Network, and Jeunesse review.

If you want a system to help you rank in Google just like Bren and I do, then check out Influx Entrepreneur.  If you want total transformation, you need to check out Subconscious Mind Tapping.

Article: How to Have Fun In Life No Matter Your Age

How To Achieve Goals In Life By Making Small Changes

“How To Achieve Goals In Life By Making Small Changes” written by Bren Koger.

Are you wondering how to achieve your goals in life?

You’ve tried, but you haven’t had much success?

Did you know it doesn’t have to take much to make big changes?  Let me explain…

How to Achieve Goals in Life By Making Small Changes

It’s the little things that count.

According to Tony Robbins being 2mm off on the distance between your eyes can be the difference between our societies concepts of ideal physical beauty and unattractiveness. Just 2mm, the size of the tip of a crayon.

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There are even studies to prove what facial proportions are the most attractive.

How To Achieve Goals In Life By Making Small Changes

In a study published in the journal Vision Research there is a golden ratio. faces judged to be most attractive had a distance between the eyes that was 46 percent of the face’s width and when the distance from eyes to mouth was 36 percent of the face’s length.

This leaves a very small margin for error.

It Doesn’t Take Much

Something very small and subtle can make a huge difference, especially over time.

In 1979, there was a large passenger jet with 257 people on board that left New Zealand for a sightseeing flight to Antarctica and back. Unknown to the pilots, someone had modified the flight coordinates by two degrees.

This error placed the plane 28 miles to the east of where the pilots assumed they were.

As they approached Antarctica, the pilots descended to a lower altitude to give the passengers a better look at the landscape. Although both were experienced pilots, neither had made this particular flight before, and they had no way of knowing that the incorrect coordinates had placed them directly in the path of Mount Erebus, an active volcano that rises from the frozen landscape to a height of more than 12,000 feet.

As the pilots flew onward, the white of the snow and ice covering the volcano blended with the white of the clouds above, making it appear as though they were flying over flat ground.

By the time the instruments sounded the warning that the ground was rising fast toward them, it was too late. The airplane crashed into the side of the volcano, killing everyone on board. -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf.

It was a terrible tragedy because of a miscalculation of just 2 degrees.

The Small Things Can Affect Your Life Too

You may be going about your day thinking that small lapses in judgment don’t mean anything, but It’s the small things that can make a huge difference in life, especially over time.

When you see people who have achieved great success, it is tempting to believe that there was one big thing which they did to achieve that success. Either they were super talented or lucky or had a great family situation.

It’s harder to think that they achieved their success through hard work. It’s harder to think that the small action steps on a daily basis led to their success. Because we then have to own up to the fact that we are just as capable of achieving the same results.
When you see someone with a great amount of success I can guarantee they have different daily action steps than the person who is not as successful.

Here’s What You Can Do

Most people have goals and desire in the three big areas of health, finance and relationships.

Ask yourself throughout your day. Does this action I am taking bring me closer or further away from my goals and act accordingly.

You can even put a sign on your computer or phone that says…Is what I’m doing now leading me to my goals?

  • Does going to the gym contribute to my health goals YES – then proceed
  • Does eating processed snack food contribute to my health goals NO- then stop
  • Does doing something thoughtful for my loved one every day lead to a better relationship? YES then proceed
  • Does not taking the time to give them a hug and kiss when I get home lead to a healthy relationship –NO then stop

If you do this over time you will have a healthy loving relationship, a healthy body and abundance financially.

If we are continually aware of our daily action steps and how to steer them in alignment with our goals we will develop habits and habits will lead to actions that will lead to our destiny.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Final Words on How To Achieve Goals In Life

It only takes small things… small actions to change your life.  If you ensure that every action you take, even the really small ones, take you on you your path towards you goal: you’ll be surprised on how easy it was once you finally achieve them.

Follow my suggestions on how to achieve goals in life and you’ll be well on the path to success.

Love and Light,
Bren

P.S. – If you like this post, feel free comment down below and/or share on Facebook.

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How To Achieve Goals In Life By Making Small Changes - Bren Koger

Bren Koger

Click here to contact Bren

If you are interested in learning how to make money online, click the following links to learn more about the TotalShortcut.com system, YouFirstMillionOnline system, and get the information to form your own opinion from this Empower Network, and Jeunesse review.

If you want a system to help you rank in Google just like Bren and I do, then check out Influx Entrepreneur.  If you want total transformation, you need to check out Subconscious Mind Tapping.

Article: How To Achieve Goals In Life By Making Small Changes

How To Handle Disappointment Like Adele 2016 Grammys

“How To Handle Disappointment Like Adele 2016 Grammys” written by Bren Koger.

You know the feeling when you’re so excited about something you’re about to do?

You’ve maybe traveled a long distance.

Anticipated it for months.

Prepared, Imagined what it would be like, looked at pictures and dreamt of this moment for a long time…

only to be hugely disappointed when things don’t turn out as planned.

How to Handle Disappointment

I’m wondering if this is how Adele might have felt after her performance at the 2016 Grammys when there were technical difficulties with her sound while she was performing her song “All I Ask.”

[jwplayer player=”1″ mediaid=”18480″]

Adele’s 2016 Grammy Reaction

She tweeted after the performance.

How To Handle Disappointment Like Adele 2016 Grammys

Follow Adele
‏‪@Adele‬

The piano mics fell on to the piano strings, that’s what the guitar sound was. It made it sound out of tune. Shit happens. X

How’s That For A Response?

I admire her professionalism when she just kept going with her performance like nothing was happening in spite of the problems.

Our Own Disappointment

We had our own little “Adele moment” last month when we were in Hong Kong.

We were there as part of our three week tour of China and were told by some friends who lived there that the two things you absolutely must do while you are there is to 1) take the Star Ferry Harbour tour across the bay.

 

and 2) walk or ride up the mountain to Victoria’s Peak to see the panoramic view of the entire city.

We only had two days so after the ferry tour (spectacular)

How To Handle Disappointment Like Adele 2016 Grammys

and a night of experiencing the night life of Hong Kong we got up early enough to take the metro to the Victoria’s peak tram. Where we were anticipating seeing the view of our lives.

Victoria’s Peak, Hong Kong

It was drizzling rain and overcast but the metro is so easy to navigate it was a very pleasant ride to the tram.

We were pleasantly surprised that there weren’t any long lines.

How To Handle Disappointment Like Adele 2016 Grammys

We paid extra to go to the very top of the observation deck for the 360 degree viewing terrace and we got right on and had a great view of the hillside vegetation as we went up 1800 feet to the top in the tram.

 

as we all pile out with excitement to see one of the best views in the world we went into a 5 story look out building and traveled up to the very top on several escalators.

How To Handle Disappointment Like Adele 2016 Grammys

Only to walk out to the terrace and to a wall of fog so thick you could barely see 50 feet in front of you.

As we strained to see even a light in the city of Hong Kong below we only saw gray misty fog.

How To Handle Disappointment Like Adele 2016 Grammys

We walked around the perimeter and saw only one of the beautiful homes at the top of the hill a few hundred feet away.

How To Handle Disappointment Like Adele 2016 Grammys

but saw absolutely nothing of the Hong Kong skyline or surrounding area.

 

 

How to Handle Disappointment Like A Champ

So What do you do when disappointing things happen? Because if you’re alive they will happen.

How To Handle Disappointment Like Adele 2016 Grammys

  1. Realize It’s part of life as Adele tweeted Sh%^ happens. Acknowledge that you feel disappointment. Feel the feeling and give yourself a few minutes to say. “This SUCKS!” then move on…
  2. Will this really matter one year from now? We have a choice. We can get upset and react or we can regroup and see the bright side of things. If this is the worst thing that can happen, we are pretty darn lucky. We were in Hong Kong. We got to travel up the tram to the very top. We were healthy alive and happy. I could go on and on, but you get my point.
  3. What can I learn from this? Could we have been better prepared? Maybe do a bit of research when we are sight seeing. Think about what you can learn from this.
  4. Make a list of 10 things you appreciate. It might take a few minutes to feel like doing this, but as quickly as possible make a mental list of 10 things you are grateful for or better yet write them down.
  5. Take 10 deep breaths and do some meditation, if you can.
  6. Find the seed of opportunity in every seeming setback. We were able to tell a great story and learn some new tools through this experience.

How To Handle Disappointment Like Adele 2016 Grammys - Hong Kong - Bren Koger and Mike Marko

Final Words On How To Handle Disappointment

So keep these 6 tips in mind the next time you encounter disappointment…

And, like Adele, you’ll be a superstar in anything that you do.

 

P.S. – If you like this post, feel free comment down below and/or share on Facebook.

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How To Handle Disappointment Like Adele 2016 Grammys - Bren Koger

Bren Koger

Click here to contact Bren

If you are interested in learning how to make money online, click the following links to learn more about the TotalShortcut.com system, YouFirstMillionOnline system, and get the information to form your own opinion from this Empower Network Review, and Jeunesse Global review.

If you want a system to help you rank in Google just like Bren and I do, then check out Influx Entrepreneur.  If you want total transformation, you need to check out Subconscious Mind Tapping.

Article: How To Handle Disappointment Like Adele 2016 Grammys

Bob Steenlage on Humility – Podcast

“Bob Steenlage on Humility – Podcast” written and interview by Bren Koger.

“The last of human freedoms – the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.”― Viktor E. Frankl in “Man’s Search For Meaning”


Some of our most challenging struggles turn out to be some of our best blessings in life. They inspire us to search for meaning. It compels us to search for tools to overcome. This is what Bob Steenlage has been able to do in his life and he shares a little bit about his amazing life story in this podcast.

Bob Steenlage on Humility – Podcast

Click the link below to listen to my interview with Bob Steenlage on humility.

 

In this podcast Wrestling champion and decorate Vietnam War veteran Bob Steenlage talks about his struggles from his over-achieving to try to earn love from his alcoholic father to losing many of his friends during the Vietnam War and how this caused him to try to understand the meaning of life which eventually led to him becoming a sought after motivational speaker.

Podcast Episode Take-Aways

In this episode he talks about how:

  • We are free to control our thoughts. This is a great thing if we make the right decisions in life.
  • We can dictate what we want to be if we choose our thoughts and make wise decisions.
  • Out of his hardship was able to have kindness and compassion towards others.
  • If you adjust your thinking you can achieve anything you want.
  • A heart is more spiritually connected.  If there is ever a conflict between what your heart and your head is telling you to do, choose your heart.
  • The power of gratitude His tip to write down 10 things you are grateful for before you go to bed. Your subconscious will marinate on this all through the night.
  •  The trifecta of success and happiness; Give God credit for everything, be kind and be of service to others.
  • Ask God to keep you in a good and humble place.

Lessons Learned

Have a burning desire to serve the creator of the universe,

Develop a heart to serve others,

Practice kindness.

These are the secrets to happiness in life and anytime we get off that we are troubled.

Be grateful for everything, even your troubles, because they are there to keep you on track.

The goal of prayer is not so much to attain the desired help, as to reassure ourselves of gods nearness during moments of distress. And the awareness of his nearness is, in itself, the answer to prayer.

Thank you, Bob

Book Written by Bob Steenlage

P.S. If you gained value from this post be sure to comment below and please share this post on Facebook or Twitter!

Suggested articles:
1. Seven Keys to Building Self-Confidence
2. TAO of Self Confidence – Self Awareness and Self Confidence with Guest Bren Koger
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MLSP Review From A Non-Affiliate: Get The Facts on My Lead System Pro

Bob Steenlage on Humility - Podcast - Bren Koger

Bren Koger

Click here to contact Bren

If you are interested in learning how to make money online, click the following links to learn more about the TotalShortcut.com system, YouFirstMillionOnline system, and get the information to form your own opinion from this Empower Network Review, and Jeunesse Global review.

If you want a system to help you rank in Google just like Bren and I do, then check out Influx Entrepreneur.  If you want total transformation, you need to check out Subconscious Mind Tapping.

Article: Bob Steenlage on Humility – Podcast

Just Stick With It – Perseverance Is the Key

“Just Stick With It – Perseverance Is the Key” written by Mike Marko.

Are you struggling right now trying to achieve your goals?

Are you second guessing whether you should be doing this because you have tried and feel overwhelmed, or have come across one too many challenges?

I really understand what you are going through because I have felt the same way… many times.  Heck I have felt that way several times over the past year.  So I know what you are going through.

But that’s why perseverance is key to achieving your goals.  You need to stick with it… and that’s what I want to talk about today.

Just Stick With It and Exercise Your Perseverance

In the following video I talk about the importance of perseverance, and really just to stick with it.

[jwplayer player=”1″ mediaid=”16826″]

 

Just Stick With It

I was reading how if you want to really achieve a goal you need to learn the lesson of… a postage stamp.  Yup, I said postage stamp.

You should approach all your worth while goals as if you were a postage stamp.  The reason being is that the usefulness of a postage stamp is in its ability to stick to one thing until it gets to its destination.

Pretty cool analogy, right?

But it really gets to the foundation of how to achieve your goals.

Getting Over Challenges with Perseverance

If you think you have it tough, there are lots of historical examples of people who had it tougher yet were still able to persevere:

  • Helen Keller the author was deaf and blind.
  • Beethoven the composer was deaf.
  • Albert Einstein the scientist had a learning disability.
  • Ray Charles the musician was blind.
  • Thomas Edison the inventor had a learning problem.
  • Terry Fox the runner was an amputee with cancer.
  • James Earl Jones the actor (who played the voice of Darth Vadar… cool fact I enjoy) was a stutterer.
  • Stephen Hawking the physicist has Lou Gehrig’s disease.
  • President Franklin D. Roosevelt was paralyzed from polio.
  • Vincent Van Gogh the artist was mentally ill.
  • Itzhak Perlman the concert violinist was paralyzed from the waist down.

If you look at the man in 1860 who became the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, you would have placed money against him had you looked at everything he had to overcome:

  • He failed in business in 1831.
  • He was defeated for State Legislator in 1832.
  • He tried another business in 1833… which also failed.
  • His fiancée died in 1835.
  • He had a nervous breakdown in 1836.
  • In ’43 he ran for congress and was defeated.
  • He tried again in 1848 and was defeated again.
  • He tried running for the Senate in 1855 and lost.
  • The next year he ran for Vice President and lost.
  • In 1859 he ran for the Senate again and was defeated.

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What About Your Challenges?

Think about your recent challenges.  Take the time to compare those challenges against those listed above.  Do you think your challenge is comparable?

Do you think that if you too learned to apply the principals of perseverance and stick with it that you too can overcome your challenges?

Below I have listed several things you can do to develop your own perseverance.

How to Develop Your Own Test Perseverance Traits

  1. Avoid the tendency to abandon tasks with faced with obstacles.  Learn the lesson of the stamp (mentioned earlier).  If you instead stick with it and approach your challenges with urgency and tenacity you move closer to success.
  2. Follow through with your tasks, even the small ones.  In fact, it is a good exercise to list out your tasks in small actionable steps and then cross them off as you achieve them.  Measure your progress.
  3. Avoid those tempting distractions.  We’re all faced with them.  Don’t start new projects and get distracted until you stick with the present goal at hand and get ‘er done.
  4. Find what is interesting in each task and dwell on that.  Tony Robbins talks about focusing on the benefits of what you are doing instead of the perceived pain of doing work to help accomplish your goals.
  5. Visualize your goal as already being accomplished.  If you can program your subconscious into believing that you have already accomplished your goal, you will find reasons to actually be successful as opposed to your subconscious trying to protect you from disappointment.
  6. Engage others to help you, and form a mastermind.  Leverage the abilities of others to help you overcome challenges.
  7. Believe in yourself.  I know this sounds cliche, but it’s really important.  KNOW you can do it.  If you have to, stare straight into a mirror, look into your eyes, and yell out to yourself how your goals are already accomplished.  “I AM A $100,000 PER MONTH EARNER!!” was what I yelled out until it was accomplished.

Final Thoughts on Perseverance and Just Stick With It

Developing perseverance is essential to achieve any results and goals in life.  Exercising the steps I talked about above will help you stick with it and achieve your goals.

See you on the highway to success!

 

P.S. – If you like this post, feel free comment down below and/or share on Facebook.

Have questions and want to connect?

Add me on Facebook then shoot me a message:

http://www.Facebook.com/mike.marko.37

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Just Stick With It - Perseverance is the Key - Mike Marko

Author: Mike Marko
Click here to contact Mike

If you are interested in learning how to make money online, click the following links to learn more about the IPAS2,the TotalShortcut system, and the YourFirstMillionOnline system, and get the information to form your own opinion from this Empower Network Review, and Jeunesse Review.

If you want a system to help you rank in Google just like Bren and I do, then check out Influx Entrepreneur.

Article: Just Stick With It – Perseverance is the Key

Seven Keys to Building Self-Confidence

“Seven Keys to Building Self-Confidence” written by Bren Koger.

What is self-confidence and why do some people seem to have a healthy dose of it while others struggle in every area of their life due to a lack of it?

Have you noted how self-confidence doesn’t seem to come from having exceptional intelligence, attractiveness or wealth?

There are attractive intelligent people who lack the confidence to achieve their goals and dreams while people with major physical disabilities inspire thousands of people from stage.

So what are some of the keys to building self-confidence?

Building Self-Confidence

Before we start on the path of building self-confidence, let’s first understand what it means.

Self-Confidence Definition

Wikipedia defines self-confidence as a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment.

Self-confidence is having a trust in our abilities. It allows us to push past the fear and worries of trying something new. We feel self-assured and assertive. We go after what we want.

Lack of Self-Confidence Is…

So a lack of self confidence can hold us back due to negative thoughts about our abilities playing in a loop in our head.

This brings about a stress response in our body. I can remember as a teenager shaking in some social situations due to a response my body was having to the situation. If you a have a fear of public speaking you probably get that shaky butterfly feeling if you’ve ever had to speak in front of a group. Or if you’ve ever had to approach someone of the opposite sex for a date. This thought pattern and corresponding feelings can hold us back in every area of our life.

As an adult, we can temporarily have more or less self-confidence based on things like our income or success and how attractive we feel but these can be fleeting and puts control outside ourselves. There are things you can do to feel confident no matter where you are in life.

Keys to Building Self-Confidence

Here are my seven keys to building self-confidence.

1) Smile and Make Eye Contact with People

This is so simple and costs nothing. The more you are engaging with others, even in small ways, the more positive feedback you will get from others.

Action: Make it a point to smile and make eye contact with at least 3 strangers today.

2) Body Language

You don’t have to walk like a runway model or balance a book on your head, but be aware of holding your shoulders so they are not slumped forward. If you were tall as a child, like me, you might have rolled your shoulders forward to try to look smaller. Your posture sends signals to others. It also affects your body through a chemical response. Holding your body in a more confident posture emits hormones that help you feel more confident. It tricks your body into feeling more confident.

Action: Be aware of your posture. Stand tall and hold your shoulders back.

3) Try Not to Use Fillers In Your Speech

“Um’s and Ahhs” and speaking fast are indicators of nervousness and a lack of confidence. We can’t usually  hear that we are using fillers as we are speaking. Mike and I have several hundred videos on our YouTube channel which has helped me realize this is an ongoing challenge for me.

Action: Slow down take pauses. Practice by interviewing someone or giving an impromptu speech and count how many fillers you use.

4) Wear Clothes That Make You Feel Good About Yourself

They don’t have to be designer labels or super expensive but something you feel good in. Be well groomed.

Action: Go through your closet and get rid of at least one thing that you know you don’t feel comfortable wearing. Plan a shopping trip to get one outfit that makes you feel great.

5) Participate in Physical Exercise

Physical exercise releases positive chemicals called endorphins, It helps you feel more comfortable in your own skin, Confidence is a balance between minds and body.

Action: Go out and walk or run or do some kind of physical activity at least once a day

6) Get Out of the Pattern of Second Guessing or Negative Thinking

We all have some negative thoughts that creep in so it’s best to have a way to stop thoughts that are limiting and self-defeating. Cut your negative thoughts immediately and replace with words that are positive and confident. I love Napoleon Hill’s confidence formula from the classic book “Think and Grow and Rich.” If you say this out loud everyday you will start to reap the rewards.

Action: download the self-confidence formula here and read out loud at least once a day

7) Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

At the next meeting or event, you attend try speaking up by asking a question and always sit in the front row, if possible. If someone asks for a volunteer immediately raise your hand. We are usually afraid to be noticed or stand out and fear being judged. People are much more accepting than we realize and. Life outside your comfort zone offers more opportunities—and more successes. More personal successes means more self-confidence.

Action: Do one thing outside your comfort zone this week. You will have an opportunity present itself. Take it and learn from the experience.

Final Words on Building Self-Confidence

You will be truly living life when you develop the habits of self-confidence.

A lack of self-confidence keeps us small and if we base our self-worth on external circumstance like how much money we have or how attractive we are instead of developing tools that help us with intrinsic self- worth we will be constantly at the whim of circumstances outside ourselves.  With these seven tips, you will be on the road to unshakable self-confidence no matter what the situation.

 

P.S. If you gained value from this post be sure to comment below and please share this post on Facebook or Twitter!

Suggested articles:
1. TAO of Self Confidence – Self Awareness and Self Confidence with Guest Bren Koger
2. Humility and Pride | Understanding the The Pride/Humility Wheel
3. Why Try to Always Have A Positive Mental Attitude?

MLSP Review From A Non-Affiliate: Get The Facts on My Lead System Pro

Seven Keys to Building Self-Confidence - Bren Koger

Bren Koger

Click here to contact Bren

If you are interested in learning how to make money online, click the following links to learn more about the TotalShortcut.com system, YouFirstMillionOnline system, and get the information to form your own opinion from this Empower Network Review, and Jeunesse Global review.

If you want a system to help you rank in Google just like Bren and I do, then check out Influx Entrepreneur.  If you want total transformation, you need to check out Subconscious Mind Tapping.

Article: Seven Keys to Building Self-Confidence